RELATIONSHIPS

How to Spot Love Bombing

Signs to watch out for and why it’s unhealthy

Love bombing explained:

Love bombing is a manipulation for control and power in a romantic relationship.

Signs you may be getting love bombed.

  • The relationship feels like it is moving extremely fast.

    Is your relationship in its’ early stages yet it is moving at lightning speed? If it is moving so fast that you might be feeling overwhelmed, you could be getting love bombed.

  • Love bombers behave like rescuers.

    Do they take your side in all of your conflicts? If they may be taking on how you think or how you feel, you may be getting love bombed.

  • The person calls you their partner after knowing you briefly.

    Does the person call you their partner or their boyfriend or girlfriend after knowing you for a brief amount of time? Are they talking about their future wedding and kids with you? If so, you may be getting love bombed.

  • They over-identify with you.

    Does the person you are with seem to LOVE everything you love and dislikes everything you dislike? They may even begin to behave in a US versus THEM kind of way. If so, you may be getting love bombed.

  • There’s a lack of consideration for your personal boundaries.

    Does the person have an excessive need for your attention? If so, you may be getting love bombed.

  • There are grand gestures of affection or extravagant gifts.

    Does the person you are with buy extravagant gifts. If so, you may be getting love bombed.

  • “Special” gift-giving after knowing you briefly.

    Does the person you are with early on in the relationship give you a gift that appears to have some kind of sentimental value? Does the gift imply that they know you very intimately when the opposite is true? If so, you may be getting love bombed.

Why love bombing is unhealthy

  • Love bombing reinforces low self-esteem and low self-worth.

    You owe it to yourself to recognize these behaviors when you should encounter them.

  • They keep you reminded of your personal weaknesses.

    Is there a personal weakness, a problem, or a past action that they keep reminding you of or throwing in your face?

  • A change in how you view yourself + increased dependence on them.

    If the love bomber can get you to see yourself as less capable, not having as much value or work, and then create your dependence on them, it can become easy to not see yourself clearly and believe that you need them to be in a relationship.

About the Author:

Devaney is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Supervisor who specializes in working with people of color, couples, and the LGBTQIA+ community. She works with adults ages 18+. She also offers supervision in the state of Texas.

2022-05-12T07:21:07+00:00
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